Conclusion about dentists..

So, I didn't feel anything.

I was soo nervous and everyone was telling me I was outta my mind to be taking out all 4 of them, until I saw one of my cousins and she told me that she went with him and again that he had magic hands that I wasn't going to feel anything. So I was more calm.

And actually I didn't feel anything!
The only thing that bothered me was the anesthesia shot but just that! 3 shots and I could barely talk hahaha.

And many know that when i am nervous I talk a lot and laugh, so the dentist was laughing a lot as I kept talking and my hand were shaking. Only 20 minutes and that was all!

The worst came when the anesthesia started to wore off... Fuck the pain! I almost wanted to cry. I knew I must've taken the medicine immediately but I didn't ¬¬

But now I just feel little itty bitty pain. Nothing to big...

I hope tomorrow I feel no pain at all ¬¬

The dentist: Everyone's Nightmare

So here's the deal...
Tomorrow I'm going to the dentist to get my 4 wisdom teeth out. And seriously, I'M FREAKING OUT!

I haven't been to the dentist in like 15 years, only to the orthodontist to fix my teeth. And now that my orthodontic treatment is coming to an end I must get my 4 wisdom teeth out.

I don't know how it's all gonna work out, but one thing is for sure, tomorrow after the surgery and on Saturday I'm gonna be looking like Quico from "El Chavo del Ocho"

So for tomorrow I'll be able to write my story with the dentist to tell you if it wasn't that bad at all, or if it was hell! I go better for the first option.

Everyone has recommend me this dentist, so I'll see if he really was that good.

Gosh! my nervous syste is about to blurt out :S

mmhm

I'll just say it's bullshit!!

They think I'm stupid or what??
I know plenty of stuff they might think I don't even notice, but I do.

So it's bullshit!!!!!!!!

And I'm tired of it!

oh dear oh my

I'm like all mixed of emotions right now.

First of all I must say I am sad, just because all my best buddies live far away from me.
Juárez, Brazil... gosh that really sucks.

And then I am happy I found my Gossip Girl book!
Yet again I can't start reading it until I finish reading "El Llano en Llamas" which by the way I know is a classic but I really don't like it, it's really boring.

Mixed and shallow emotions.. LOL!

Trying to see the positive side to everything!

That is why...

Well, yesterday I had one of those moments where you are about to sleep and you start thinking of everything that's going on in your life, that starts to depress you and you end up crying. Yeah! I know, pretty pathetic on a saturday night. But well, I knew that I wasn't doing anything yesterday first of all because I wasn't in the mood, and second because I knew my cousin was gonna be 'busy' with her boyfriend since his parents left on a trip and he was home alone.
So I just dedicated myself to read and watch movies and do some homework.

And, while I was passing through that pretty awful night I started thinking of writing an e-mail to my cousin explaining to her what was going on with me and why I didn't want to hang out with her and her boyfriend anymore. Mainly we never really got along even when they started going out, we just never clicked and there wasn't really any friendship. The only reason I handled it pretty well was because of her. Because she was happy and after all that's the only thing that matters to me.

There I was at around 2am crying myself out that I turned on the computer and I was about to start writing her the e-mail when I suddenly got distracted with facebook (yeah, we gotta thank him for something) that at the end I just got a little more calm and turned of the computer and went back to sleep.

I wake up this morning, go grab breakfast and start doing some homework, when I recieve a call from my dad that If I had recieved a message from my cousin, which I haven't at the time. So I went back to doing my homework. Apparently I was gonna dedicate the whole day to doing homework but at around 3pm I recieved a call from her telling me that she wanted to come to my apartment and pick me up even though I told her that my parents would be picking me up after going and pick up my brother from his trip to Cancun (yeah! I know! CANCUN! In the middle of school year and spring break isn't here yet) anyway when i asked her what was going on she started to cry. Then I just told her to calm down and wait till she got here so we got a chance to talk about what happened before we went to eat.

Making this story short she broke up with her boyfriend (yeii! but she doesn't need to know that), because he has been acting really weird lately and last night they went out and at 3am he told her he had to go back home because he wanted to be there early, and instead he went back to the club and stayed there until 7am. So she really thought he has taking advantage of her and they broke up and for good!
I really mean this time is for good because the past 5 times they have broken up they haven't changed their facebook status (yeah! facebook is a great deal around here, is the best way to gossip) So she definitely changed her status to Single... so I really believe that this time is for real.

Even if she decides to get back with him I will still support her, even though I can't stand the guy, but hey... she's like my sister.

So, the point of this whole blog is to imagine what it would've been for her to get home, see that I had sent her a message full of anger about her not-anymore-boyfriend????
She would've felt like crap!

Things happen for a reason, and some of us still don't get it. I think I'm gonna start paying attention to those little details so that I stop commiting all kind of mistakes... And have a better understanding why things are the way they are.

One of those moments...

Like seriously I'm having one of those moments in which I certainly believe that I'm not good at anything I do...
Life has been really messed up lately, and I've just grown tired of having to go out there looking for whatever I want, really tired.

I'm tired of not getting answers, of not having a definite yes or a definite no. Having me hanging out there without no answers really suck! I want my heart to work with my head, but while my head says you're not worth it and you're not for me, my heart says something else. What the matter is wrong with me? I wasn't like this. I used to be this girl that normally didn't care about anything and specially didn't care about guys. But lately this has been different. It has been different since this idea of you came to my head, this idea of 'us' that has been in my head for some time now. And I thought that after everything I did it would stop but it hasn't and I sometimes feel I just don't wanna let go but I'm still waiting for a reason for you to tell me not to. When is that day gonna come? And if it isn't coming then what do I do? What do I do for all this to stop.

I'm tired of not having something stable in my life. I'm tired of trying here and there, and not finding what I really want. Because I keep holding on to this idea about you, because I really do believe it is all an idea that has been stuck in my head. But what if it isn't? That's the dilemma, that is the problem I have to handle everyday. I want someone steady, because I've really grown tired of every fling I've had since I've got here. And there hasn't been many, because since I moved here guys are closed up just into their group of friends. And I just realized today that I really don't have my own group of friends, specially when it comes to boys. I have to meet the boys that hang out with my cousin's boyfriend whom I specially don't like. So why meet a guy that's best friend's of someone that I particularly try to stay away from. Because he really doesn't like me, so why even bother trying.

On the other hand, I'm also tired of being "the cousin of..." of not being myself, not getting people to know me by who I really am... because I'm just "the cousin of... from .." even though I've been living here for over a year.

I'm so confused, my head is so messed up and I just sometimes feel things don't always come out the way I plan them to. I just want my friends back. But the real ones that I could just call them whenever I was feeling bad or confused. And here everyone is so superficial that I really don't know who to trust, but I picked this and I really don't regret taking this desicion. It's just being hard...


So this song, describes perfectly this exact moment...
Sia couldn't said it better...

100 verdades...

ULTIMOS:
1. Última bebida: capuccino
2. Última llamada de teléfono: marmota
4. Ultimo cd reproducido: mgmt (escuchandolo ahorita mismo)
5. Última vez que lloraste: hoy a la hora de la comida ¬¬
6. Último mensaje de texto recibido: luma

ALGUNA VEZ HAS:
1. Salido con 2 personas al mismo tiempo: no
2. Te han engañado: si
3. Besado a alguien & arrepentirte? siiiii
4. Perdido a alguien especial?: siii :(
5. Tenido depresión: si
6. Estado ebrio & vomitado?: jajaja siiiii

NOMBRA TUS 3 COLORES FAVORITOS:
1.- Morado
2.- Negro
3.- Rosa

ESTE MES HAS:
1. Hecho un nuevo amigo: mm creo que si
2. Desenamorado: desepcionado un poco sería la respuesta correcta
3. Llorar de la risa: aii sii
4. Conocido a alguien que cambió tu vida: pues creo que hasta el momento no
5. Descubierto quienes son tus amigos de verdad: todos los dias
6. Dicho algo que quieras decirle a alguien?: mmm no

OTRAS I.
7. Has besado a alguien en tu lista de amigos: jajaja sii como no!
8. Cuanta gente conoces en persona de tu lista? pues a la gran mayoria
9. Cuantos hijos quieres tener? 3
10. Tienes mascotas?: claro, mis 2 bebes :D
11. Cambiar tu nombre?: no

OTRAS II.
1. Que hiciste para tu ultimo cumpleaños: reunión en mi casa y antrito
2. A que hora te despertaste hoy?: a las 9:00am
3. Que hacías a medianoche ayer?: dormir!! jaja estaba cansadiiisima!
4. Menciona algo que NO puedas esperar?: JULIO!
5. Última vez que viste a tu mamá?: hace como una hora
6. Qué cosas te gustarían poder cambiar de tu vida?: ser más decidida quizas en algunos asuntos y no guardarme tanto las cosas en otros..
7. Qué escuchas en este momento?: mgmt
8. Has hablado con Tu ex ?: no
9. Página más visitada?: facebook :S ja

PERSONAL
001. Nombre real: Alexandra
002. Sobrenombre: Alex, Alexis, Ale, Alexa, Yishish, chaparra, honey bunny, Rox, Roxy Foxy, pequeña mimi.
003. Color de ojos: cafe
004. Signo zodiacal: capricornio
005. Hombre o mujer: mujer
006. Jardín de Infantes: Colegio San Patricio
007. Enseñanza básica: Colegio San Patricio
008. Enseñanza media: Colegio San Patricio
009. Enseñanza superior: Colegio San Patricio jaja
10. Color de pelo: castaño0
11. Largo o corto: largo
015. Eres hipocondríaco? siiii por eso no puedo ver Dr. House :S
016. Estatura: 1.53
017. Estás enamorado?: i think so :S
018. Te gustas tu mismo?: claroo
19. Piercings: tenia, no más :S
020. Tatuajes: próximamente
21. Diestro o zurdo: diestro

PRIMEROS
022. Primera cirugía: apendice, 6 años
023. Primer piercing: bebe las orejas... después lengua
024. Primer mejor amigo: josé
025. Primera mascota: Chichí
026. Primeras vacaciones: mmmm... no sé... Disney?
027. Primer concierto: jaja no recuerdo! Creo que fué algo de la hora de los chavos una cosa asi
028. Primer amor: ricarditooo uiiii
029. Amor de verano: jajaja depende cual de todos los veranos! jajaja

ACTUALMENTE
049. Comiendo: nada
050. Bebiendo: agua
052. Estoy a punto de: dormir
053. Listening to: mgmt

COSAS QUE TE GUSTAN
056.Banda favorita: incubus
057. Mejor película de todos los tiempos?: aii son tantaaas
059. Te gusta la pizza?: me encanta
060. Tu mejor cita sería..? no importa el lugar, solo la persona

QUÉ ES MEJOR DEL SEXO OPUESTO
068. Labios u ojos: carajo, si son las dos cosas en las que más me fijo en un hombre... mm labios!
069. Abrazos o besos: besos
072. Romántico o espontáneo: espontáneo
074. Sensible o alegre: alegre
075. Free o relación?: relación
077. Problemático o irritante?: pues problemático... i'm used to it ¬¬

ALGUNA VEZ
078. Besado un extraño: jajajajaja claro jaaj
079. Bebido alcoholes fuertes (spirits): como no!!
080. Perdido lentes/contactos: siii
084. Roto el corazón de alguien: la verdad si
o85. Sido arrestado: nooooo
086. Rechazado a alguien:si
087. Llorado por la muerte de alguien: si

CREES EN..
089. Ti mismo: si
090. Milagros: si
091. Amor a primera vista: mm no realmente
092. Cielo: si
093. Dietas: claro, me han funcionado de maravilla
095. Beso en la primera cita: mm depende jaja
096. Ángeles: tengo mi angelote!

RESPONDER HONESTAMENTE
097. Hay alguien con quien quieras estar en este momento?: si
098. Tenido más de un novio/a al mismo tiempo? no
099. Crees en Dios? : si
100. Postear esto como "100 verdades"?: si

Marzo y la primavera

Realmente nunca me había fijado tanto en el mes de marzo hasta que el domingo pasado... 2 de marzo. Mi sobrinito nació. Ahora si tendre una razón por la cual celebrar el mes de marzo. Porque siendo sinceros para lo único que esperaba el mes de marzo era para el puente de Benito Juárez, de ese nacimiento si me acordaba. Pero ahora ya habrá una razón más!

Ayer... ayer día de la EXPO-UDLAP Internacional. Fué una locura, muchisima gente, estudiantes de preparatorias. Y sin contar que varia gente estaba esperando para el concierto que iba a ser más tarde de Playa Limbo y Allison, pero la verdad como a mis amigas y a mi no nos gusta del todo pues decidimos irnos.
Y la verdad quien no se va a ir después de estar desde las 7:00am acomodando un stand y terminar a las 3:30pm toda acalorada por un traje enorme y asoleada, sin contar con un dolor horrible de pies ¬¬

La verdad, creo que esa va a ser la última vez que lo haré, mi mamá ya se esta preparando para dentro de 2 años pero yo... yo no gracias, hasta aqui llegué.

Sin contar del fraude que sigo teniendo presente ¬¬

Si ganamos un lugar en el concurso, el 3er lugar. Sin embargo creo que todos estaban de acuerdo que debimos de haber ganado minimo 2do lugar. Pero bueno... 10 unidades de beca para cada una esta bien... sólo tendré que pagar 32,000 pesos ¬¬ ash!

Bueno, ya me preocuparé de otras cosas...
como de una tarea q es preciso entregar para mañana ¬¬
vaya fin de semana!